Poetry from the Soul
by P.H.GOLDING



ODE TO FEAR

In days of downturned eyes and wounded heart,
I lay prostrate at your feet.
You were my master then.

I was your humble servant.
Dared not look at your terrible presence.
You shrouded me in comfortable darkness.

My imagination you ruled with your skillful ways.
I kept your commandments and kept my distance
From those who walked with open eyes.

With you as my god I was greater than all,
And less than the rest.
And I avoided the battle at all cost.

But the battle kept finding me nonetheless,
And I fort the fight with the best of them.
Until my heart lay dying on your battlefield.

Wounded and bleeding I lay.
I could fight no longer.
Gone was my strength and my weapons were broken.

Beaten, I surrendered to the enemy,
And prepared myself for death,
But miraculously life came instead.

Today I too walk with open eyes,
And see you as you are,
As you unwittingly lead me to myself.

Your flaming breath is but hot air.
Your terrible presence a facade.
Your commandments lies and falsehoods.

My imagination truth now rules.
My commandment is now love.
My heart is filled with the presence of the One.


_





Surely I am a mystery worthy of investigation,
A challenge worth facing,
A wonder worth knowing,
Nothing grander to be sure.



MISTAKEN

I stared at my form in the mirror and thought it ugly,
But I was mistaken.
I reached for my heart and felt only fear,
Thinking there was nothing else,
But I was mistaken.
I journeyed into my mind and found myself unworthy,
But I was mistaken.
I steadfastly pressed forward and pierced a veil,
Behind which shone a dazzling light of purity unfathomable,
And at the same time felt that this was truly me,
Was I mistaken?
I think not.


_




THE SECRET OF THE VOID

I look about me and see only the darkness of a moonless night.
I reach out for support but feel nothing,
As if floating intethered in a starless space.
I turn inwards but encounter only a distant memory.
I panic and run, but I run in circles.
I lash out to strike my foe but wound only friends.
I collapse exhausted and surrender to the void,
And in the void the silence speaks,
And in the stillness the day breaks.

_



NOT LIKE ME

I look them over and find we have nothing in common.
I step into their space and their eyes reject me.
I listen to their voices and their tone is cold and uninviting.
I put out my hand and they take it with apprehension.
They all sit isolated from one another,
Huddled in their own little space.
I catch a glimpse of myself in the window pain,
And discover I look just the same.
By the night's end they are sharing their feelings,
And I discover they are just like mine.
Funny - I thought we had nothing in common.

_


SILENCE SPEAKING

I talked softly so they would not shout at me.
I gave in because they were more powerful than me.
I pleased them with a smile so they would not reject me.
I ran away because they were bigger than me.
Then one day the silence said that I was only frightened of myself,
And I thought yeah, I guess that's how it works.
And I saw how the world fears, and I saw the fear grow.

I became strong so they would not overpower me.
I became their ruler so they could not control me.
I spoke loudly so they would always hear me.
I grew tall so they could not stand over me.
I learned to fight so they could not hurt me.
Then one day the silence said that I was only fighting myself,
And I thought yeah, I guess that's how it works.
And I saw how the world fights, and I saw the fighting grow.

I reached out in kindness and some were kind back to me.
I served them humbly and some were grateful to me.
I open my heart to them and some welcomed me.
I tended their wounds and guarded their secrets and some repaid me.
I gave love freely regardless and in return some even loved me.
Then one day the silence said that I was only loving myself,
And I thought yeah, I guess that's how it works.
And I saw how the world loves, and I saw the Love grow.

_

 

 


CAPTURED

I captured a heart and held it close.
It was the answer to all my prayers, this heart.
The prospect of dreams fulfilled,
And a life to be lived.
A perfect match that would forever last.
So I held it tight just to make sure.

I captured a heart and held it close.
It was the answer to all my prayers, this heart.
The life I dream and the life I live,
Hasn't yet been a perfect match.
I must convince this heart it's mine,
And held it tighter just to make sure.

I captured a heart and held it close.
It was the answer the all my prayers, this heart.
The life that I dreamt and the life I live,
Is still growing father apart.
Why can't you see you're my perfect heart?
I can feel you slipping but I can't let you go.

I captured a heart and held it close.
It was the answer to all my prayers, this heart,
Or at least I though it was so,
But now the dream is lost and I will surely die,
Don't you realize what you have done to me?
I pin the heart down so it can't get away.

I captured a heart and held it close.
It was the answer to all my prayers, this heart,
Or at least I thought it was, but now it has died.
I loved this heart so how could it die?
My perfect dreams have fallen apart.
What will I do now for a heart?

_



FRIEND

There was a time when we were strangers.
We stood from each other aloof and a little proud.
I imagined that we had little in common,
And that the bonds of friendship were not ours to share.

Now we stand together,
Guardians of each other's deepest thoughts:
Thoughts we rarely even share with ourselves.
At times I could swear you are my second nature.

I remember the first time you opened yourself to me.
It came out of the blue.
Next thing I knew we were Soul mates,
Traversing life's journey together.

At times we don't always agree.
Sometimes we even argue,
Lost for a while in our fear and pride,
But then the sacred bond of friendship always pulls us through.

We see each other from afar,
And tell each other things we cannot see.
At times I don't like you for your honesty,
But then love you all the more.

My life has greater meaning with you walking by my side.
But I know if we should drift apart some day,
In my heart your memory would always stay,
For knowing you my friend has helped me more truly know myself.

_



HOW WILL I LOVE THEE?

We stand hand in hand looking back,
Seeing how our roads merged together.
We look ahead and wonder,
Whether it will be one road or two.

I look at you and you at me,
What do we really know of each other?
Apart from a strange familiarity in the heart,
From where a mystery love springs forth.

Will you change? I know I will.
Will that matter? I hope it doesn't.
Does this love come with a freedom clause?
Will I be free to be who I am? Will you?

Do I know you? Do I know me?
My hidden pain calls to me, tugging at me.
What will you think when it comes calling?
Do you also have a room that you don't dare visit?

They say love is about sharing.
Does this include our pain and our fear?
All is beautiful now but what then?
Will my shame shut you out?

I offer my love to you freely.
Why not offer my fear and pain as well?
Can't this too be a beautiful gift?
Perhaps a gift of my humanity.

If I give myself to you completely,
And not blame myself on you,
Will you do the same for me?
Will I accept you unconditionally as well?

I wonder if God loves this way?
Perhaps that's how he does it.
Is that how he loves us in spite of ourselves?
Is this how we can love ourselves as well?

I come unveiled to share my thoughts with you,
Tentatively feeling my way into your secret room.
Your door opens to me ever so slightly.
Then in the lighted darkness we make a pact.

We give ourselves to the Light,
And open ourselves to each other,
We accept the gift of each other's pain,
And share in the one divine love.

_





THE HEALER

I sit opposite her.
Her penetrating, yet compassionate eyes
Envelope me in an aura of acceptance.
Her gentle questions probe my vulnerable emotions
As they look for an escape but find no excuse.

She presents me with no agenda, no assumptions that misread me,
Only space carefully prepared for me to fill,
Which my insecure self can't help but pour into.
She merges with me, and yet she does not lose herself.
We are strangely one yet I'm freer than I have ever been.

I find myself revealed and brace for judgement,
But find only the sweet smile of one who can
Identify and understand - it washes over me
Like a soothing balm on my open wounds.
I suddenly laugh at the pain as though it is no longer mine.

I willingly open myself to her now.
We are partners in this dark journey of self-discovery,
That has the promise of a fountain-head of Light divine.
That mysterious source of wonder, desire, and dread.
She is the bearer of this Light, the revealer of the real.

It is my forth visit to this place of solace.
She tells me that it's time to do some healing
As she prepares for the laying on of hands.
I could tell her not to bother, the healing is already done,
But how can one resist a Soul's touch.

_

 

 


Heart of Consciousness

Step directly into the river of life
with your breath flowing and your heart open.
Yes, even into the raging torrent of the mind.
Your heart is like a vast and tranquil ocean.
The mind is but a mere trickle compared to
the limitless power of the heart.

Let all things flow through you.
Resist them not. Watch, feel and learn.
To the ocean of the heart all is equal and beautiful,
even as the ego judges and complains.
Like a loving and wise parent,
the heart watches over the ego,
this little child of mind
and guides this lost child back to the safety
and bliss of her bosom.

So you think you are this mind?
Watch it come and go with its
endless petty fears and squabbles.
Let it die in the face of its fears,
Behold you still remain!
What you thought you needed
is but trinkets compared to the treasure of the heart.
All will be provided to those who await the treasure.

So you think you are this body?
Does it not grow old and die?
Watch how it comes and goes as well.
It is a temple they say.
Do not waste time endlessly adorning it.
Spirit dwells stronger in simple dwellings
that are sturdy and well kept.
But the dwelling will inevitably crumble
while spirit remains blazing in the heart of conscious awakening.

So who are you then if not this heart?
Who are you then if not the watcher of things coming and going?
Note how the raging torrent strengthens
and expands your open heart.
The challenges of life are but food for the spirit of awakening.
Your breath of consciousness is the doorway to Life.
Let all enter through this door and be embraced by the heart.
Limitless expansion is your very destiny.
As mind and body fade, yet this awakened heart still remains,
as alive and vital as the day it was born.

Be this heart, this loving guardian of the little body-mind.
Be the embracer of life in all its sounds and colours.
Know the limitlessness of your foundation
and the power of the love that you are.
Fear is but the doorway to your destiny.
Enter it gladly and feel the Life surging in you.
Note how you soar above these turbulent waters.
As this flaming heart, this ocean of Spirit,
pour yourself into life and light the way for all to follow.

Claim your destiny in every mundane step.
There is no perfection on this path of awakening,
only the strivings of those who won’t give up.
Perfection is the reward of persistence
and for those who forget the reward.
To lead the way is to be the way,
to shine in your very humanness,
in the beauty of your imperfection.
The heart is an ocean of compassion pouring out to all,
and yet allowing all to find their own way.
Wisdom is the fruit of right action
forged on the anvil of trial and error.
Make your mistakes gladly,
for they are your stepping-stones to greatness.